The Day When Things That Don't Usually Happen Do
by Miss Hermione
Summary: This is what happens when I try to be funny! My 2nd fan fic ever. Please read and review!


The Day When Things That Don't Usually Happen Do

I'm experimenting with the different categories to see what kind of stories I write best. I've written a general story already and this is my humor story.=) Please review. No flames please but constructive criticism is welcome.=)

Harry: What's that supposed to mean?

Hermione: What?

Harry: The title of this story!

Ron: You mean _The Day When Things That Don't Usually Happen Do_?

Harry: Yes!

Ron: I dunno. I guess it means that today things that don't usually happen will happen.

Harry: Right...

Hermione: *biting her lip and looking very worried* I don't like the sound of that...

Harry: Don't worry Hermione. This is just a fan fiction story! What could possibly happen?

_At that moment the lights go out and the room begins to spin. When everything is back to normal Harry, Ron, and Hermione find themselves in a brightly lit TV studio._

Ron: Hey! Where are we?

Hermione: *looks around* It appears that we're on Wheel of Fortune.

Ron: Oh.

Harry: But I don't want to be on Wheel of Fortune!

Game show host: And here's our first contestant...wait! It looks like our first contestant is actually a team of three contestants! Harry, Ron and Hermione!

*applause*

Hermione: Huh?

Harry: Hey! You're Professor Lupin!

Lupin: Why yes I am! But I'm not a professor anymore. Now I'm a game show host.

Ron: Why would you want to be a game show host?

Lupin: I dunno. I guess I just felt like it.

Ron: Oh.

Lupin: Our second contestant is *glances at cue card* Lord Voldemort!

Harry: WHAT?!?!

Lupin: Lord Voldemort, Harry. That's what it says on this cue card.

Harry: *walks over to Lupin* Lemme see that! *looks at cue card* Lord Voldemort. *looks at the 2nd contestant* But that's not Voldemort! That's a bunny!

Lupin: Look, I'm not in charge of this show. I'm just the game show host! 

Harry: But...but...*sighs and sits down*

Lupin: Our next contestant is *glances at cue card* Mr. Fluffums!

Mr. Fluffums: *sinister look* My name is not Mr. Fluffums! My name is Lord Voldemort!

Lupin: No, that's Lord Voldemort. *points to the bunny*

Mr. Fluffums: No! I am!

Lupin: Lord Voldemort, will you please tell Mr. Fluffums that you are Lord Voldemort?

Lord Voldemort: *twitches nose*

Lupin: See? That settles it!

Mr. Fluffums: But...

Lupin: All right! Let's start the show! Unfortunately Vanna White is currently ill, so luckily *glances at cue card* Severus Snape has volunteered to fill in!

_Snape walks out._

Hermione: Snape?? As Vanna White?!?

Ron: *laughing so hard he can't talk*

Lupin: Ok! Now we are going to start the game! Will Harry, Ron, and Hermione please spin the wheel?

Harry: Er...ok...

_Harry spins the wheel and it lands on Loose a Turn._

Lupin: Sorry Harry! But it looks like your team looses a turn. Now, on to Lord Voldemort!

Lord Voldemort: *twitches nose* 

Snape: That's a bunny.

Lupin: What do you mean this is a bunny?? This is Lord Voldemort! Voldemort, please spin the wheel.

Lord Voldemort: *twitches nose*

Lupin: Er...ok...um...I guess I'll spin the wheel for you.

_Lupin spins the wheel._

Lupin: Wow! $10,000! Go ahead and guess a letter, Lord Voldemort.

Lord Voldemort: *twitches nose*

Lupin: He says he's going to guess 'T" There are two T's!

Snape: I didn't hear him guess.

Lupin: Well, he did!

_Snape reveals two T's._

Lupin: Lord Voldemort, go again.

Lord Voldemort: *twitches nose*

Lupin: Spin the wheel.

Snape: I'm telling you! That's a bunny!

Lupin: It is not!

Lord Voldemort: *twitches nose*

_Lupin spins the wheel for Lord Voldemort again_.

Lupin: WOW! $10,000 again!

Lord Voldemort: *twitches nose*

Hermione: Um...I think that's a bunny.

Lupin: It's not a bunny!

Harry: What do you mean it's not a bunny? Look, it's fluffy and white and it has big ears!

Lupin: So? 

Ron: It's a bunny!

Lupin: *indignantly* It is not! *ah hem* Lord Voldemort, would you kindly guess a letter?

Lord Voldemort: *twitches nose* 

Lupin: He would like to buy a vowel. An 'E'. There are two E's in the puzzle!

Snape: I didn't hear him say anything.

Lupin: Well, I did!

Snape: That's a bunny.

Lupin: It is not!

Snape: *sighs and reveals one P*

Mr. Fluffums: Excuse me! But I would like a turn! *glares menacingly*

Lupin: Oh sure! Whatever you say, Mr. Fluffums!

Mr. Fluffums: My name is NOT Mr. Fluffums! It is Lord Voldemort!

Lupin: No, _that's _ Lord Voldemort. *points at Lord Voldemort who is still twitching his nose*

Mr. Fluffums: I am NOT MR. FLUFFUMS!

Lupin: Whatever you say...

Harry: *in an undertone to Hermione and Ron* This is crazy! I say we leave.

Ron: I agree! Where's the exit?

Hermione: *points* There!

_Harry, Ron, and Hermione leave. Just as they exit, they hear Lupin say, "So that makes Lord Voldemort our Grand Prize winner!"_

Hermione: But he's a _bunny_!!!

Ron: *shrugs* Not my problem that he's a bunny.

_Harry, Ron, and Hermione, now out of the TV studio find themselves inside a court room._

Judge: Order! Order! You three! What are you doing? *points at Harry, Ron, and Hermione*

Harry: Huh?

Ron: What?

Hermione: Where are we?

Judge: In an official Court of Law! Now sit down!

Hermione: Er...ok. Wait a sec! You're Gildroy Lockhart! 

Judge Lockhart: Is that a problem? 

Hermione: *blushes furiously* No.

Lockhart: Good! Order in the court! Order in the court! We are now going to sing the official Official Sounding Official Song of The Court.

Ron: We have to _sing_??

Lockhart: Of course! What else would you do in a court?

_Lockhart starts to bellow 'Happy Birthday to me'._

Harry: Today is your birthday?

Lockhart: No, but I felt like singing to myself. Now, on to doing my judge stuff. Ummm. Our first item in the agenda is the trial of Mr. Snape! Mr. Snape, would you please come up here.

_Snape comes up._

Hermione: Wait a sec! Weren't you just at the Wheel of Fortune studio?

Snape: Yeah.

Hermione: So how come you're here now?

Snape: Because.

Lockhart: Mr. Snape, do you swear to tell the truth, read my books, and admire me, so help you me?

Snape: Huh?

Lockhart: Just say yes.

Snape: Yes.

Lockhart: Ok great! Now, your crime...er...lemme find it. 

_Lockhart shuffles through a pile of papers._

Lockhart: Ah! Here it is! Your crime is that your favorite color is not lilac, which is my favorite color!

Snape: What??

Lockhart: *turns to Ron, Harry, and Hermione* Does the jury find him guilty or not guilty?

Harry: He deserves to be guilty!

Ron: Yeah!

Harry, Ron, & Hermione: We find him guilty!

Lockhart: Oh really? Well, in that case Mr. Snape, your sentance is that you have to eat chocolate! *_Lockhart stuffs a bar of chocolate into Snape's mouth_* Court dismissed!

Harry: That's it?? All he had to do was eat chocolate?

Lockhart: Of course! What did you expect Harry?

Harry: I thought...you was supposed to...*sigh* Never mind.

Lockhart: Great! Let's all go outside and have a picnic shall we?

Hermione: Ohh! Sure--

Ron: We'd rather not.

Lockhart: Suit yourselves. *he leaves*

Harry: This story is getting _way_ to weird!!

Ron: Yeah! Who's writing this anyway?

Hermione: She's a brand new fan fic writer. In fact, this is only just her 2nd fan fic!

Harry: Well, I don't like it! It's too weird!

Miss Hermione (me, the fan fic writer): You don't like it?

Harry, Ron, and Hermione: No!

Miss Hermione: *sigh* All right! All right! I'll end it!

Harry, Ron and Hermione: Yay!

Miss Hermione: The end! 

Harry: If this is the end, how come we're all still here?

Ron: I dunno.

Miss Hermione: You gooses! You have to exit through the official Fan Fiction Exit Door.

Hermione: Where's that?

Miss Hermione: There! *points*

Harry, Ron, & Hermione: *exit*

Miss Hermione: The end!

_Lord Voldemort hops into the court room twitching his nose._

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except for myself. Mr. Fluffums belongs to himself. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Lupin, Lord Voldemort, Snape and Lockhart all belong to J.K. Rowling. Wheel of Fortune belongs to whoever it belongs to and the court room belongs to the court room peoples who are currently on vacation in Antarctica. The Official Sounding Official Song of The Court belongs to the Official Peoples Who Make Up Crazy Official Songs for Court Rooms inc. This disclaimer belongs to the DCOTW. (Disclaimer Cooperation of the World) No animals were harmed in the making of this fan fic. 


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